The fight between me and myself

I sit in car singing being happy, then suddenly a voice in the back of my mind says,

"You should feel terrible. You failed God. You never told the rest of your family about Him.

You are a failure." I start to cry silently in the back of the car.

My thoughts suddenly start flowing, all of them saying: "I failed God"

Full with tears,

I bow my head and close my eyes, praying that those thoughts would stop...

I know their lies, but my mind tricks me into believing them...

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I will edit this later with the verse of the day, since I forgot one


of the suggestions.

Just the way you are.

It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, true beauty lives inside of you and me. You don't need eye shadow or blush or even lipgloss to look pretty! You were created in God's image. You are truly beautiful on the inside, no matter what anyone says or thinks, God will always love you just the way you are.



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Verse of the day:


Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NIV)

Thoughts on Jesus

There I sat, on that swing, I kept my thoughts on Jesus, then the thoughts, the lie of fear snuck in between my talk with God. I feel the fear, I shiver and shake. I sink, with my eyes off Jesus. It said in the Bible that Peter sank in the waves when he took his eyes off Jesus and put his gaze on the storm. I fear of what's going to happen tomorrow. I slowly slip away from reality. Then, that ledge. The verse, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." I say that verse, repeating it. I hold on to that one verse, and I say a prayer, "God, please help me do this, I've had enough of this, this pain and this fear. I need you. In Jesus's name, Amen." I feel the strong hand of Jesus hold me. I know I am safe. I relax and swing on that same swing, repeating verses, and singing praise to God. 

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May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Corinthians 13:14 (NIV)

Face to face.

The memory, it flows through my mind as I sit through this day. 

Memories of driving to hospital and seeing the clouds. 

It feels like it’s real. It’s like my mind is mocking me. 

My thoughts toward that day. 

The 23rd when my Grandpa, Poppy went up to Heaven and saw Jesus. 

Face to face.

He was always there.

I sat up on that stage, setting up the music. I tap the play button, and listen to the song, repeating the words, then I stop. Fear up to the brim. I forgot. Tears come pouring out, my mind lies, it says that I’m alone. All alone, God’s not here. I forget the truth, I forget His Word.





I can do anything through him who strengthens me.


Love never fails


Perfect Love casts out all fear.

I forget His word and go running.





The next day, I go up to that stage once more. My body shakes. The lady sets up the music stand to go in front of my sight. I sing, remembering the verses. God was there. He was always there.


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So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

October

October, the month where the holiday of spending time with family, and gathering candy lays.

October, the month that I dread. I'm too afraid to face October.... 

Why? Poppy died in October. 

The stress overwhelms my body with fear and tears. I shiver and shake every day of October, trying to hold back tears. It soon becomes too overwhelming. I cry for God's help. 

I pray, trying to have Faith that God will fix this grief. And help me to forget the dread, and be happy that Poppy is in Heaven, with the glory of God.


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“Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.” Isaiah 55:6 (NIV)

Fear distracts from the light.

Do you think some little drops of rain are gonna make a day bad?

Or maybe grey clouds gathering in the distance?

Or, lightning just over the horizon?

Maybe your disappointed about something?

Maybe your nervous or anxious about something...



Just remember this one simple verse...:



He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10 (NIV)

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“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,” Philippians 1:9-10 (NIV)