Face to face.

The memory, it flows through my mind as I sit through this day. 

Memories of driving to hospital and seeing the clouds. 

It feels like it’s real. It’s like my mind is mocking me. 

My thoughts toward that day. 

The 23rd when my Grandpa, Poppy went up to Heaven and saw Jesus. 

Face to face.

He was always there.

I sat up on that stage, setting up the music. I tap the play button, and listen to the song, repeating the words, then I stop. Fear up to the brim. I forgot. Tears come pouring out, my mind lies, it says that I’m alone. All alone, God’s not here. I forget the truth, I forget His Word.





I can do anything through him who strengthens me.


Love never fails


Perfect Love casts out all fear.

I forget His word and go running.





The next day, I go up to that stage once more. My body shakes. The lady sets up the music stand to go in front of my sight. I sing, remembering the verses. God was there. He was always there.


-------------


So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

October

October, the month where the holiday of spending time with family, and gathering candy lays.

October, the month that I dread. I'm too afraid to face October.... 

Why? Poppy died in October. 

The stress overwhelms my body with fear and tears. I shiver and shake every day of October, trying to hold back tears. It soon becomes too overwhelming. I cry for God's help. 

I pray, trying to have Faith that God will fix this grief. And help me to forget the dread, and be happy that Poppy is in Heaven, with the glory of God.


--------------------


“Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.” Isaiah 55:6 (NIV)